ahhh!

havent blogged in awhile so i thought i'll do it now while i have time T_T' schools are stupid to put everything in a bundle. assignments and exams fah. exams start this week and i still have assignments due ==' stress stress stress! ahaha. well other than that, parents giving me a hard time. friends are always there for me. and ze boy? there is change but not much. oh well. what's jess got to do? haha

DEAD!

omgsh man yday was the best ever BUT not the alyssa bit. idk what happened but i drank to much..3? last time it wasnt like this. i think cause i didnt eat thats why! but yeah felt like shit, my head was soooo heavy and i said soomething to angelo that i shouldnt have. dam! idk one fcked up indo LOL fahh... avissa wasnt that high she was liek dead first then she sobered up. but omg so not fair cause i lost the bet with angelo ahhaa. and kuan! man i miss him ahaha i was calling out his name LOL! and i have a bruise on my thighs and leg.. maybe from falling? LOL overall best weekend :)

weeeee!

heeeyheeeyy maybe its not the end? hahaha well im not sure yet just gna wait abit, but he said sorry and told me that she won't be in the picture no more... is he telling the truth? idk but well wait and see. wooo! 3 more days till the party, so excited cause you knw what? theres going to be happy water! hahaha just hope my parents come back late and that alyssa's parents wont stay for long :S cause on the phone her dad sounded like he was gna stay till the end ! hopefully not , we'll wait and see. anyways mood : better today

The End?

can this be the end of it all? nadine added her on facebook and well hey, she spoke to her in a nice manner and she took out on nadine. he comes to me mad because apparently i told nadine shit. so what  now? i can't even tell my bestfriend anything? it's not like he doesn't tell his friends stuff too. she says she has nothing to do with him. What bullshit is she trying to say? If she wasn't in the picture, me and him wouldn't be in this place right now. All i wanted to know from him is that, is there EVER going to be me and him? love's not suppose to hurt.

birthday!

WOO! avissa birthday today! happy birthday to her. can't wait till i see her today, and give her my card hahaha the best ever. stayed on the phone till like idk but i didnt sleep till 2 or something, we were so scared that her battery was gna run out but yeah it didnt hahaha. counting down from 11.59 till 12 and bam! happy birthday :L today i need to give out more invites! i hope the poeplei want to come, actually can make it >< an too bad that he's not going to be at school today:(

break.

woah. go me. actually had the guts to say what i felt inside. told him that i dnt wna be in between things, dont want a third person in it, don't want to be feeling this way. its sad and hard but hey if its gna solve things then i'd rather let it go now and get it back later then never getting it back. Even though i can't act the way i did before around him, or hug him like i mean it, it kills me. its just not the same, going to school everyday and just seeing him thats all. nothing else. fullstop! until he solves the problem with the other person. even when i miss you, your still not missing me

give up..

why be close to someone when you don't want to hurt another? Why take photos with someone when you don't want others to see? Why hold someone when you have another to deal with? tells me to take the photos off after i upload them cause he don't want to be slack that apparently she saw them photos of him holding me? Maybe its time that i listen to my friends before they say i told you so in my face. I feel so used even though he says he's not using me. let it go and just move on? how' i get myself into this? fah im so sick of people not holding on to their words cause talk is cheap... 

back to the old.

exhausted! woke up at 8.30 to clean the rooms up, BACK TO MY ROOM! a good and bad thing actually. i dont need to sleep on the floor but i find it comfortable with the comp right next to me! damm. going out to dinner tonight with uncle + aunt + grandparents + family. no tutor yipeee! i get to wear my new jacket haha :) hmm well atm waiting for them to come and like stay here for awhile then go around 5 ish. now back to making avissa's bday card (:

pewpew

omgsh cutest teddy bear out! with her lil yellow dress haha! so fun making that build-a-bear thing. abhi was friggen like 2 hours late omg but luckily there was maccas! hahaha free wi-fi! yayer. don't wna go school on monday man :( he might come over on monday not sure yet, only if i can convince my muzza i can stay home!  hmm tonights the last night sleeping in this room, then back to the old routine! grandparents going home and i get my room back but no skyping till late anymore ); oh well, next time when they come sleep over here. today overall was pretty fun just because i got to spend time with him <3 :)

HOley MOley.

wooo! finally made the invites! gna go rouse to print them off cause i have no paper left ftw man. ==' things when you need them you don't have. Hmm its not theee best invites but oh well. good enough. Then going to towers with abhi to get avissa's build a bear :D then i gta bus it home cause mum won't pick me up. ugh! oh well, abhitime :P i shall get ready soon...

Ready?

fahh! i need to get the suprise party ready! still need
-bday cake
-drinks
-food
-CANDLES!
-decorations!
omgsh. how am i gna get everything on time? avissa keeps asking if she can do the invites but she cant! cause its her party. so hmm.. idk? we'll have to wait and see. still need to get avissa's pressie tomorrow with abhi! :D and i have no idea how many poeple! haha i dont want my house to be trashed man cause i promised my rents i would clean it all up ><  so stressing fah

<3

miss having the company of that one special person in your life that'll be there for you 24/7 dealing with the good and bad times. One you can give all your trust to and rely on whenever you need them. what can you do if that person doesn't want a relationship? Can't do much ey, even if you wish upon a star about it, all depends on his thoughts. damm life sucks. 31/8/09 one of the best days (: first kiss with him ♥

first photo together (:

Once again...(:

just got back from a nice hot shower from avissa's house! haha went to parra first and got alyssa's bday pressies and took ages to find shie fahh. lloyd had a smoke ==' geez. then went to btown and bought a top for next week's party (: its pretty rofls. avissa's dog poopped everywhere haha and she got pissed :L i love her fish face (: had a really mad D&M with tiara and avissa ;) best ever to talk shit about ahhaa. funny moments.. but i miss him :(

);

"you're the reason for the teardrops on my keyboard,
the only one who keeps me wishin on a wishing star,
you're the song on iTunes,
i keep singing,
don't know why i do..."

goodmorning!

wow 6.39 and im already awake? fahh i need more sleep but i just can't :( oh well going to blacktown and parra today with avissa, tiara and imy! well can't wait to meet imy haha. hope we find alyssa birthday present. Another day at school :( so sick of it fah.

newnewnewnew!

hahaha well idk what this thing is about, but hey thanks to lloyd Bonita. Best guy out to talk about shit aye lloyd ;) haha.